Monday, October 13, 2014

#offmychest

I was debating whether or not to write this post, but then I figured, hey, this is my blog, and I can use it as a diary of sorts should I need to.

Now, it's no secret that I really, really like makeup. I'm obsessed with it for a number of reasons; the creativity it affords, the means of self-expression, the ability to look one's best, the boost in confidence, and so on, and so forth. Makeup is cool.

It's also no secret that I'm a grad student in a STEM field, which means that there tends to be a lot of frowning over anything as 'frivolous' as makeup. A girl wearing makeup is generally looked down upon - for some reason wearing makeup = lacking in the brains department (don't ask me why, I never received the memo).

For quite some time now, I've been aware of the fact that I've been hiding the fact that I like makeup from a lot of people, especially people that I know. Friends, family, people I love and respect. I kept the 'makeup' me as far away from 'science-y' me as possible. I didn't think they mixed together, I feared that when my friends and collegues discovered that I blogged about makeup, that their respect for me as a scientist would vanish.

Which is silly, when you think about it. I certainly wouldn't judge a colleague if they enjoyed makeup (I'd be thrilled to have a partner-in-crime, actually). So why was I so afraid?

I think the answer lies in my head (well, duh). I was so busy judging myself, and so busy hiding, and trying to put on all these different faces that it became too much at times to juggle everything. I haven't been posting because of the shame I felt over blogging about something as 'trivial' as makeup. But why? Is it so wrong for me to enjoy this as an artistic outlet to the logic-based profession I'm in?

I enjoy blogging. I enjoy testing out products, and working with them, and putting out reviews in the hopes that it helps other people, and I'd like to think I'm fairly decent at it. No, I'm not the best. I'm hoping to be good at this someday, but it's not urgent.

And I hope that the next time these fears, doubts and shame clouds my mind, that I can remind myself that this is my outlet, and that anyone who chooses to doubt me, to mock me, to look down upon me for this isn't really worth knowing, anyway.

Anyhow, I know this is way off subject matter, and has nothing to do with makeup at all. Meh #sorrynotsorry

I'll be back soon, no worries. I have a few new posts coming up soon!



8 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to hiding your love of makeup from friends and families! sadly in india makeup is something which is looked upon as very bad..dont know from where this thinking comes but its true :(

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    1. I think it's because if you use makeup, then you're vain, and obsessed with yourself, and people think that's equal to being a bitch (so not true!). I know people (girls, usually) gossip about other girls who use makeup, and I've never understood why.

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    2. Sigh, can you imagine the crap I got when I said I wanted to study it? :P

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    3. I can imagine! So silly, especially since people go haywire over hiring make up artists for their wedding day! :P

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  2. ((((Aditi)))) You get all the hugs! I know exactly how you feel (would you believe I'm writing this while in a cleanroom waiting for a sample to run? :-P Important note: also totally rocking Chanel Charme lipstick while doing so).

    While I certainly don't want to force you to blog (LOL - taping your hands to the keyboard?), I really enjoy your writing, and your perspective, and I'm glad to see that there are more posts after this one for me to enjoy ^_^. If you look at me, and Jaa, and a whole host of other STEM-related beauty bloggers (not to mention the non-STEM academics who suffer as well), know that you're not alone. We're all out there. Maybe we're kind of in stealth a bit (can't quickly change the attitudes of people around you, sadly), but we're out there! *secret handshake*

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    1. Awww, thanks Syl! ((hugs back))

      I've started wearing a wee bit more than I'm used to. I even wear mascara! Hahaha. Still, it bugs me no end when I hear people (guys, usually) mocking girls when it's fairly obvious they're only doing so because they take the time to take care of themselves. I don't understand why a grad student can't look presentable?

      We should form a STEM bloggers coalition, LOL!

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    2. You know, I've had some ideas in that line, actually...

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    3. It does sound awesome :)

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